Five Secrets Before You Die

Dr. John Izzo interviewed over 200 people, researching the secrets of living a meaningful happy life. Wise elders advice and his experiences teach us how to practice them

Dr. John Izzo’s Five Secrets You Must Discover Before You Die (Berrett-Koehler, January 2007) is based on his highly acclaimed television series airing on Rogers in Canada and PBS in the U.S. He is also the bestselling author of Second Innocence.

• Dr. Izzo interviewed thousands of people until he narrowed those down to 235 wise elders who found meaning and happiness in their lives. He was inspired to focus more on what mattered most after his wife suffered from a stroke close to his 50th birthday. The interviewing process was emotional but also a positive, fulfilling and life altering journey for Izzo.

Wise Elders Share Secrets

• While John acknowledges some of the secrets will not necessarily be a surprise to people, he helps us learn how to apply them. In our present youth-oriented culture, elders are not valued as much, nor do they have as much influence and input in our lives as they should.

• Some tribe elders consulted in Tanzania were shocked to learn many elderly people in our society were institutionalized and devalued, because in their culture they are honored for their wisdom.

• He encourages us to interview our own wise elders, which not enough of us take the time to do. How much we value our elders is one way in which some cultures differ. Izzo also discovered many ways we are similar to each other regardless of race, religion or creed.

In the book he expands on each secret and then ends with questions to think about to put each secret into action. There is a whole chapter on putting the secrets to meaning into practice with weekly and daily reflections.

The Five Secrets You Must Know Before You Die:

1. Be true to yourself

• While this is a common saying, he helps us explore whether we are being true to ourselves by questioning whether we are following our heart and focusing on what really matters.

2. Live no regrets

This requires living out of courage and not fear. Most people have some things they would have done differently, but Izzo noticed the ones that were happy did not dwell on regrets. A woman named Elsa in her seventies said that she received the most valuable advice from her daughter. “Mom, you just have to dust yourself off and get back up.”

• Setbacks happen to everyone but it’s how people handle them that makes the difference. Some choose to stop risking or loving or trying and give up. While the ones that remain happier strive on continuing to love despite the risks.

3. Become love

One of the most important secrets is to “Become Love”. Dr. Izzo helps define this love to be more of a verb, since it involves choosing to act loving rather than the emotion of love. It is an important difference because even if you do not feel like giving love you can.

• Some are too focused on the love they can get rather than give and that can have self-defeating and disappointing results. To act loving toward others we must first love ourselves. There is helpful information in Five Secrets You Must Discover Before You Die on how to do that.

4. Live the moment

Dr.Izzo writes, “I came to believe that through this secret, live the moment, they were telling me to judge my life less and enjoy it more.”

5. Give more than you take

Accumulating material possessions, seeking love and fame are not ways people will find happiness and meaning. Serving others is what brings long-term fulfillment.

• The final section includes responses from each person sharing one sentence of advice on how to find happiness and meaning in their lives.

It is not the sort of book you read through quickly. Putting the secrets into practice involves long-term self-discovery. It is a valuable book that is a joy to read and would benefit and move anyone regardless of age. The most inspiring message about Five Secrets You Must Discover Before You Die is that it is never too late to discover what matters and live a meaningful life.